Women’s Identities Beyond Roles: From Emma Jung to Silicon Valley Today

Last week at the International Congress of Analytical Psychology (IAAP) 2025 Congress in Zurich, I sat in the audience during the Opening Speech, Dedicated to the Soul: Emma Jung’s Life and Work. 

Emma Jung was not only C. G. Jung’s wife, but also a trained analyst and an author in her own right. Yet, for decades, history has remembered her primarily through her marriage.

Watching this international community center Emma as a subject—an individual whose contributions mattered—was deeply moving. As a feminist psychologist, I felt the symbolism: reclaiming a woman’s identity as her own, not as an extension of someone else’s life.

For me, it was powerful because it touched on a theme I see so often in my clinical work.

Women’s lives, even now, are often narrated through someone else’s story: a partner, children, or family expectations. It is striking that in 2025, nearly a century after Emma’s time, women are still fighting to be recognized not just for the roles they fill but for who they truly are.

Women in Silicon Valley: Stories Beneath the Surface

In Silicon Valley, a region celebrated worldwide for innovation and progress, one might assume that gender equity and individual identity come easily. Yet beneath the glossy image of tech campuses and entrepreneurial dreams, many women share stories that echo Emma’s.

They arrive here because of their spouse’s career opportunities. Sometimes they, too, have training, degrees, and ambitions. But the realities of relocation, disrupted career paths, visa or immigration challenges, and caregiving responsibilities make it difficult to build their own identity here.

I often hear women describe themselves with phrases like, “I’m here because of my husband’s job,” or “I used to do this professionally, but now I stay home.”

 These words carry an undertone of loss, as if their own lives and identities have been placed on hold, or worse, erased. And yet, their talents, passions, and dreams are still there—just waiting for acknowledgment and expression.

A Jungian Lens: Why Women's Identity Matters

From a Jungian perspective, this struggle points to the essential process of individuation—the journey of becoming one’s true self.

Individuation is not about rejecting relationships or roles, but about ensuring they don’t define us completely. Being a wife, mother, or partner is meaningful, but these roles do not tell the full story of the Self. Jung’s psychology emphasizes that the Self is deeper than the roles society assigns; it is the center of our inner life and potential.

When identity becomes too tightly tied to external roles, women can feel invisible to themselves. This invisibility often shows up as depression, anxiety, resentment, or a persistent sense of emptiness.

Jung once observed that what is neglected in the psyche returns as symptoms, and in my practice, I often see how the unlived parts of women’s identities surface as emotional pain.

It is not because women are failing; it is because something vital inside them is asking to be lived.

The Cost of Living in Someone Else’s Shadow

The psychological cost of being remembered only as “someone’s wife” or “someone’s mother” can be immense. It means one’s potential is constantly measured against another’s life, instead of being valued in its own right. Over time, this can lead to:

• A loss of self-worth.

• A shrinking sense of possibility.

• Disconnection from one’s creativity and voice.

• A cycle of guilt for wanting “more,” even when that “more” is simply the right to exist fully as oneself.

Reclaiming the Center of One’s Own Life

So what does it mean to reclaim identity? It does not always require dramatic changes.

For some women, it begins with making space for creativity—picking up a pen to write, a brush to paint, or even dedicating time for exercise or meditation.

For others, it involves reconnecting with professional dreams, exploring new training, or finding ways to use their skills in community settings. Building supportive communities beyond the identity of “spouse” can also be deeply affirming.

Therapy and inner work offer another pathway. Journaling, dream work, or simply reflecting on one’s symbolic story can open the door to deeper self-discovery. Asking questions like “What parts of me have I silenced?” or “What is longing to be expressed?” can begin a journey back to the Self. These practices help women shift from being secondary characters in someone else’s life story to being the authors of their own.

Closing Reflection: Why Emma’s Story Still Matters

The IAAP’s decision to honor Emma Jung as Emma—author, analyst, thinker—marks an important shift in how women’s stories are told.

It reminds us that the movement to center women as themselves, not merely as “someone’s wife or mother,” remains urgent.

Nearly a hundred years after Emma’s time, countless women are still navigating the same questions: Who am I, beyond my roles? How do I honor my own life story?

The answer is not about rejecting family, partnership, or caregiving—it is about refusing to disappear within them.

As women, giving ourselves permission to stand at the center of our own lives is not only an act of self-care, but also a powerful movement of integrity, resilience, and love.

And that movement, just like Emma Jung’s belated recognition, has the power to change how women are remembered—today and for generations to come.

Stepping out of the shadows, women reclaim the light of their own identities.