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The International Motherhood Journey: Between Borders, Cultures, and Love
- Dr. MJ Yang
- Aug 2
- 4 min read
A special reflection inspired by our upcoming APA 2025 presentation
This Thursday, August 7th, Dr. Cory Reano and I will be presenting at the 2025 APA Annual Convention in Denver, Colorado. Our talk is titled:
Asian American International/Cross-Cultural Motherhood: The Blessing, the Tears, and the Wisdom
We’re thrilled to be sharing our work at APA this year!
While most of our blog readers won’t be attending the conference, I wanted to create space here to share the heart of our presentation—because the themes we explore speak directly to the lived experiences of so many immigrant and international mothers.
Due to space limits, this blog will focus on just one piece of our presentation: a mini reflection on international motherhood—its challenges, its blessings, and the power of naming the in-between.
What Is "International Motherhood"?
International motherhood refers to the experience of raising children across multiple cultural, national, or linguistic systems. This includes immigrant mothers, transnational families, expats, and multicultural households.
It often means parenting while:
Maintaining long-distance family ties
Navigating language and cultural differences within and beyond the home
Adjusting to unfamiliar systems (schooling, healthcare, social norms)
Carrying the invisible weight of doing it all without a clear roadmap
International motherhood is deeply shaped by the intersectionality of identities—including, but not limited to, race, migration, gender, and class. It’s not just about where we live—it’s about the complexity of living between worlds.
A Life Across Borders
In our presentation, we shared personal stories and common themes in international motherhood: routines, expectations, support systems, and even my sense of self shift depending on whether we’re in the U.S. or Asia.
From long flights with a toddler to learning how to parent across cultures, each season brings both exhaustion and meaning.
This back-and-forth rhythm brings emotional labor—but also a kind of freedom. As outsiders in every system, we get to redefine what motherhood and parenthood look like on our own terms.
We are constantly shifting roles and adapting to multiple cultural scripts—often without a blueprint. And yet, in this fluidity, there is room to carve out more intentional paths. We get to ask ourselves: What do I want to carry forward? What can I choose to let go of?
This in-between space can feel disorienting, but it can also be liberating. It invites us to mother in ways that feel more aligned, more spacious, and more real.
We learn to develop internal clarity amid external ambiguity. We gain the strength to hold our child’s needs alongside our own unmet longings for home and familiarity. And we start to honor the unique, evolving shape of our motherhood journey.
Struggles and Strengths of International Motherhood
We want to name a few recurring themes here, so that anyone who shares this experience might find language for it:
Challenges:
Visa uncertainty and the constant logistical strain of travel across borders
Language and cultural gaps with extended family, leading to guilt, disconnection, or misunderstandings
Feeling unseen or misunderstood in U.S. systems—whether it’s healthcare, school, or social expectations
Internal pressure to “get it right” in every setting: to be the perfect mom, daughter, and professional, all at once
Parenting without a village or having to build a village from scratch
Regular international travel that is physically and emotionally demanding
Constantly adjusting to multiple systems across countries
Navigating layered identities without always being understood
Blessings:
The opportunity to build a sense of home in more than one country
Support networks that exist across borders and cultures
Lived experience that stretches across nations and gives depth to daily life
Code-switching and cultural fluency that enrich family identity
Freedom to redefine roles and expectations on your own terms
International motherhood is demanding, yes—but it also cultivates profound strengths that deserve to be recognized.
Every challenge is matched by a quiet skill, a hidden gem, a deepened capacity to hold complexity and love at the same time.
Naming the Experience Matters
Many international mothers live these realities without having the words to describe them. Without that language, we may feel isolated—as if something is wrong with us, instead of recognizing we are navigating something truly complex.
Naming our experiences isn’t just a psychological exercise. It’s an act of validation, visibility, empowerment, and healing.
When we name what we go through, we start to locate ourselves within a larger story. We begin to see that our emotional fatigue is not a personal flaw, but a natural response to holding so many layers at once.
In this naming, we create room for self-compassion. We soften the judgment we place on ourselves. We begin to extend to ourselves the same care we offer our children.
When we give words to the invisible, we make space for belonging. We invite others into the conversation. And we remind ourselves that we are not the only ones trying to find our way between languages, values, and borders.
Naming helps us build bridges—between cultures, between generations, and between one another. It helps us carry our stories with less shame and more strength.
By claiming language for our experiences, we not only affirm ourselves—we make space for others to do the same. In a world that often overlooks these layered realities, naming becomes a quiet act of resistance and solidarity.
Continuing the Conversation
Our hope is that this presentation and blog can serve as a bridge—a space where these stories are heard, honored, and reflected on.
To the international and cross-cultural mothers reading this: we see the way you carry so much with care and quiet strength. We honor the effort it takes to parent in a language that may not be your own, within a system that may not reflect your values, while still holding on to the culture and wisdom you come from.
You are doing something incredibly brave—and you deserve space, community, and support. You are not alone in this journey. Your efforts, your choices, your identity—they all matter.
We’ll continue exploring this topic in future posts, presentations, and trainings. If you’re a fellow international or cross-cultural mother, we’d love to hear from you.
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May your journey across cultures and countries continue to be met with support, strength, and the recognition that your motherhood story is both powerful and uniquely yours.
